Jan 17, 2016

8 Tips for Building a Better Relationship with your Teenager

My teenager will be 18 this fall. The time just seems to be flying by so quickly. I remember the day she was born, like it was yesterday. I call her my miracle baby, she was delivered by emergency c-section, 2 months early, weighting 1 lb 12 oz. But the miracle is she was fully developed and she survived.  God does work miracles!




I am a single parent and raising a child in a one parent household is not easy. But with Gods help, we made it and she will be on her way to college in  the fall. I wanted to share a few tips that I learned along this journey that worked for me.


Eight Tips for Raising a Teenager




1. Spiritual, faith and beliefs - If you are a believer, introduce your child to your faith as early as possible. This lays the foundation for their morals, value and shapes there character. I prayed for my daughter when she was too young to pray and prayed  and read with her as she got holder. I introduce her to the bible when she started learning out to read.

2. Lead by being example - Children follow what they see there parent do. Be an example for your child, if you don't want them doing it, then don't let them see you do it or bring it into your home.

3. Listen more and ask less question - When my daughter wants to share something with me that is personal to her I have learned to listen more and ask less questions. Try to hold yourself from giving your opinion or an unwanted lecture. This was a difficult one for me, but I learned the hard way. The more I had to say,  the less she would share with me.  I let her do all the talking, keep my mouth shut and only give my opinion when asked.

4. Spend as much time together - When my daughter was young she would love to spend time with me playing or watching TV.  Now that she is a teenager and she has other interest, the time spent is becoming less and less. So when I get the opportunity to spend time with her, I use this as my moment to see what's going on inside her head. I bring up casual conversation about something I read or saw on TV and ask for her opinion. This gives me an opportunity to see what she is thinking, how she would react in certain situation and I get to see her morals and character.




5. Establish boundaries - As a young kid there were rules and boundaries but as she got older they changed.  I clearly discussed what my expectations are from her and what the rules and boundaries are that I expected her to follow. Our relationship is built on trust and she knows once the trust is broken then the rules and boundaries will have to change.

6. Respect their opinion - Teenagers just like adults have opinions and they will express them. You may not always agree with their opinion but be willing to listen and allow yourself to have a respectful and calm discussion so you can find out why they feel a certain way.

7. Be willing to apologize when you are wrong - Yes, we as parents can be wrong also. We don't know everything even though we have been on the earth longer. If you are wrong about something say your sorry. They will appreciate it and love you even more for acknowledging that they were right.

8. Pick your battles - Not everything that happens is worth getting upset over or require a long drawn out speech. There are some things that your teenage may not do the way you want it done or the time you want it done. Something are just best left alone or you will find yourself constantly in a battle with them over minor things. Save the energy for the more major thing that will require it.

What are your tips for building a better relationship with your child or children?


28 comments:

  1. Nice tips. You mentioned 10 tips, but I'm only seeing 8...

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    1. Hi Debra, thanks for stopping by. My mistake I will correct it.

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  2. I don't have any children but these are fantastic tips for any relationship!

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  3. Don't have a teen yet- but I'm sure I'll need these all someday.

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  4. I'm not looking to the teenage years at all! I'm already dreading it. BTW, you have some gorgeous curls!

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    1. Hi Theresa, its not too bad once you lay the foundation and set boundaries you should be ok.

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  5. My mom is a single parent of 4 girls and I know we gave her hell but just like you she tried understanding us. And now we have a great relationship together and nothing compares.

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    1. Hi Kisha, your mom is a strong women raising 4 girls and I know she did a great job.

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  6. I'm a single mother of a 6 year old and I practice all of these tips now because I want our relationship to be super strong always...

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    1. Hi Shantel, I happy to hear you practice these tips also. You can't go wrong. Your relationship will get stronger as the years go by.

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  7. I have twin girls. The teen years scare me. Thank you for sharing your advice/tips on keeping that relationship strong!

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    1. Your Welcome Roxanne and thank you for stopping by.

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  8. I so agree with the boundaries point. They have to be crystal clear from the very beginning in order to be effective.

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  9. I love this list.Changing from caregiver to a bystander is a hard road.I am in the stages of having young adult children , a teen , and a preteen. Life is changing. http://mimiandpapasmissions.blogspot.com/

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  10. Speaking as a teen myself :p I really agree with these! My mom is my best friend it has always just been us two. So we have great trust and hang out all the time ( which sometimes is annoying ).

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    1. lol.. I know what you mean. I know when I annoy my daughter, the expression shows on her face.

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  11. Speaking as a teen myself, turning 19 this year. I think I am quite lucky to have a mom that I do. She can trust me, that's why we have an awesome relationship. She lets me live my life and is not obsessive with decisions I make, whatever they are good or bad. I think that how you raise a child has a lot to do with how you raise them.
    Anyway, keep doing what you do!
    Tina

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    1. Thanks Tina, I am so happy to know that you have an awesome relationship with you mom. I am sure she is so proud of you.

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  12. Will have to keep this in mind for those rough years ahead.

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    1. Hi Maun, they worked for me. Thanks for stopping by.

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  13. good tips - I have a 15 yr old and a 19 yr old. the pick your battles one is so true along with listening to them :)

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